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13 March 2017 @ 09:16 pm
This is where I've been. Trapped, against my will, in Sherlock's London. Why have you done this to me, BBC? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO JUST GIVE ME NEWS I CAN TRUST! Bellatrix Cucumberlatch? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO JUST BE THAT UGLY GUY WITH THE FUNNY ACCENT!

Why, goddamnit?!

It happened so suddenly.

I fell hard and fast down some rabbit hole too deep to see out of, too steep to crawl out of -- even if there were a flashlight down here (a torch, damnit!) or handholds or footholds, it would be impossible to escape. It's easy to languish down here... in Sherlock's world. FOREVER.

...Or until the next SHINY thing comes around.

Either, or.

Now, Martin Freeman, give me a reaction face fitting of my emotion.


It's exhausting down here.

Time to retreat to the Mind Palace.
12 September 2016 @ 08:41 pm
This post may contain SPOILERS for the Season 13 finale.

D'awwwww. Nostalgia.

I decided to watch the S13 finale again. Not the whole thing. Just two of my favorite parts: 1) Tony's blow-up in the bullpen. (Seriously. One of my fan loves is emotional-and/or-mental-breakdown!Tony. Guess I got my wish? Analyze that later.) and 2) The Final Basement Scene. (In May I was far too fragile to fully appreciate what happened down there.) The NCIS oath voiceover was nice, as well.

If you're going to rewatch the Final Basement Scene, it helps not to watch any other part of the episode. It also helps to stay very open-minded about some of the dialogue. Forget about the horror of the rest of the episode and about whether you like cute little kids or not or whether you're into the-pairing-that-shall-not-be-named, and just fast forward to Gibbs sanding a rib (that's not a euphemism) and enjoy. You'll thank me later. Or you might not. (Yes, there's Tiva bleeding all over this scene, too. But Tibbs cannot exist in a vacuum. Remember that some relationships can grow alongside another... The relationship between Gibbs and Tony, whether you think of them as friends or more, is very complex. There's some interesting stuff at play here between these two guys. A lot more than just grunted one-liners, deflection, boat sanding (again, not a euphemism) and bourbon drinking.)

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Current Location: Orlando
Current Mood: okayokay
29 August 2016 @ 10:28 pm
(Cross-posted on NCIS Discuss)

I'm looking for a couple beta readers for my LJ Micro Bang story. It's supposed to be under 10k words, but it's going above that. It's a gen case-fic, heavy on McGee and Tony, but there's plenty of Ellie and Gibbs and Abby and some other surprises as well. Shh! It's a secret.

Not ready for beta yet, but want to get some folks lined up for when it is. Would be after September 6th, and you'd have around 10 days (maybe more) to read it. Would rather have someone who's not already writing with a deadline, because I know how hard it is to fit in writing and beta-reading at the same time. But if you feel like you can do that, GREAT! I'm looking for plot feedback. Holes? Inconsistencies? This makes no freaking sense? Out-Of-Character-ness? Stuff like that. Grammar fixes are great, as I'm sure I make plenty, but that's not all I'm looking for.

Your help would be greatly appreciated. Fic cannot exist in a vacuum!v

(Wow! Three posts in a row in as many days on my albatross of a LiveJournal page. What is wrong with me? But I have to comment. Because the newest of the NCIS news is so comment-able; I just can't help myself, and it just keeps comin'.)

A little Q&A before we get started.

Q. How many random new characters does it take to replace a DiNozzo?

A. Three, apparently. (But there was some jockeying for that last slot, as well as (I presume) some sort of behind-the-scenes bloodsport.

To be fair, one of them isn't entirely random. Number one! We first met Duane Henry's soft-spoken Clayton Reeves in one of the episodes that occurred during the cluster fracas of Season 13. (I can't be bothered to remember specifics.) What I need to know, is whether he voted Leave or Remain, and whether or not he'll Brexit in a blaze of glory for the WOW FACTOR around sweeps time. I sure hope he learns to enunciate soon.

I won't comment much on the actors themselves. I'm more of a person to comment on the character, not the actor. So none of my comments are made against the actors themselves. I'm sure they are lovely talented folks who have done wonderful, wonderful work on television shows I've never watched. But I don't care about any of that. I'm concerned about the story and the plot and what kind of characters these people are going to be. (Yes, I am a writer/storyteller first and an entertainment fan second. I can't help but be critical about the storytelling aspects.)

Keep calm and carry on.

The other two characters are completely random. I feel like Gary Glasberg and Co are throwing darts while blindfolded and heavily intoxicated. Maybe something will stick. But who knows!

Number two! Wilmer Valderrama will play someone who remains nameless. (Unless I missed that detail? Please advise.) The description goes like this: He plays a "once grounded NCIS field agent who accepted a deep cover assignment years ago and never resurfaced. Many agents don't know he's still on the job or that he's even alive. Now, he's back and his dedication to the job and country has left him an unpredictable, charismatic loose cannon." Oooo, ahhhh! I love how they got really imaginative with this one. I did not see it coming. (Insert some sarcasm font here.)

OK, I'll take a bite. From a character perspective, yeah. This could be interesting. Buuuut, I'm sort of stuck on how "dedication to job and country" = charisma and unpredictability and loose cannon tendencies. I mean... ? He sounds kind of like a liability. (Does Gibbs like liabilities now?) So yeah. He's cool and edgy and probably heterosexual as hell. He's back from the dead. He'll get along great with Ghost!Franks. Gosh, where's that man when you need him?

Number three! (And this is the one that spurred this whole rambling rant.) Jennifer Esposito will play Alexandra "Alex" Quinn. (She has a name!) The description goes like this: "an experienced agent who left field work and became an instructor at the Law Enforcement Training Center. Gibbs (Harmon) will lure her back into the field as part of his team, where he will take advantage of her sharp wit, quick mind and immense talent as a federal agent. Her character will be introduced in the September 20 season premiere." Folks! Guess what! We've just found the female DiNozzo. Gosh, I'm so relieved.

What I find amusing is that when Gibbs (once again) loses a good and solid team member, he has to go around poaching folks from different places and "lure" them back to his team where he'll "take advantage" of every skill they might have. (Does that include "suck them dry of any and all joy and spirit"? Yes, probably. Gibbs is the vampire of joy.) Just seems a little... desperate? But I'm sure this new character has a whole sob story behind her, something which only Gibbs will be allowed to relate with.

Look, I don't want to be negative about Gibbs. He was such a cool character. He still is, in some aspects. But now? He's a fucking pit of misery. And not only that, he's a fucking prick. They've made this once admirable character into somebody you dread seeing. It's like they sucked all the personality out of him. I just don't know how he's going to become human enough again to convince anybody to join his team. But sure, they'll have him do his glare-schtick and people will be falling over themselves for the "opportunity." Run for your lives! (Literally.)

I wonder if Season-14-Gibbs (I refuse to call him actual-Gibbs) will make the newbies (all three of them) sign a clause stating they will not have a psychotic break like his last right-hand man. (I'm sorry, that's the only explanation I can muster for Tony's spectacular implosion. HEY! We know Tony. He never does shit half-way. He goin' crazy? He goin' crazy ALL THE WAY, plus secret love child. Deal with it.)

((BTW why did no one question Tony about his decision making?? That's a whole other conversation.))

All of this leads me to the final point I'd like to make about this whole random mess. I know they are trying to inject more life in this show. (Like giving adequan shots to your dead show horse.) They are trying to make it "new" and "exciting." But they are neglecting one huge thing... Several things, actually. McGee, Ellie, Ducky, Abby, Vance, Jimmy. Without Tony (and excluding Gibbs and his three probies), there are SIX characters remaining. Could these characters not make the show interesting? I know plenty of McGee fans who'd LOVE to see McGee actually do something, and he has, but something NEW, something MORE. How are we going to be able to see this with THREE NEW CHARACTERS to deal with + Gibbs' requisite EMO MOMENTS (which are, ya know, contractually obligated)?? <-- That was a joke.

As a Tony fan, I'd LOVE to see how McGee handles Tony's absence. I swear, if it's business as usual, I will be bothered. And what about Ellie? We barely know her. She already blends into the background. How will she factor into this?

I worry the NCIS we all know and love is moving away from "character-driven drama" in favor of becoming "just another crime drama." The characters are what made this show so lovable. The new cast feels so crowded. Seriously, THREE NEW CHARACTERS to replace Tony? I loved Tony -- so, so much. But three characters feels like over-kill. Not even Tony was that special.

I realize they are trying to feel out what works. But how about just picking ONE character and making that character someone we can love and root for, just like we did Tony?

There's some silver-lining to this storm cloud. NCIS is coming closer to fixing its "white dude problem." Added to that, I sort of (selfishly) hope that one of these new characters is gay, or otherwise not heterosexual. But this is NCIS, and I'm already laughing at myself for even hoping that.

((Yes, Dorneget was gay, but did we hear anything more about that after he came out to McGee and after we --sort of-- learned he had a crush on DiNozzo? No. Instead, we only met his mom. Not his boyfriend or his husband or even an ex or another gay friend. No. His mom. Completely safe and neutral ground. I felt like that was some sort of covert slap in the face. Just sayin’ “Don’t worry! We’re making this as heteronormative as possible!”))

Anyway, yes -- the newest NCIS news has sent me in a bit of a tailspin. I feel like all of these new characters will take time away from the other characters we've grown to love, especially McGee. It just doesn't feel right. It’s so weird. What are they gonna DO with everybody? Not to mention, they wanted to do stuff w/ Fornell and and and (UGH! I could rant for days.)

It's NCIS 2.0 -- now with multiple-personality-disorder. Maybe we recognize it… but probably not!

(((And I can't help but think that they're grasping for straws and frantically trying to bail out a sinking ship. NOT because Tony is gone, but because this show is OLD and on its last leg, yes yes it is, and it was never meant to be Law and Order. Gibbs should retire. He really, really should. It's what MAKES SENSE for his character. Can't see him going on for much longer. Sometimes, the kindest thing to do is say goodbye to an old friend...)))

What a shit show. What a fucking shit show.

((((Time for a new season of Mr. Robot to start.))))

Current Location: Orlando
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
10 July 2016 @ 05:52 pm
Something to think about.

Poem by Nikki Giovanni.
Current Location: Orlando
09 July 2016 @ 09:19 pm
Where has the time gone? I feel like it is harder and harder these days to keep up with fandom friends, and I hate falling out of touch. I feel like a giant boob, and not in a good way, if there is a good way to be a giant boob. I don't even want to blame "real life," because my "real life" isn't any crazier and isn't any more enthralling or invigorating or time-consuming or drama-ridden than any average adult's, so what gives? What's "real life" anyway. Paying bills, anxiety + depression, going to work, and not talking about the stories you're writing (for free) for some TV show?

I'm gonna be real frank: My time-management sucks and I'm (admittedly) anti-social.

So, while I have been lacking in social skills these past weeks, I have not been lacking in words written. NCIS has lost a tad (understatement) of its luster, but... I still have ideas, and they are tossing about in my crazy head and they aren't leaving me alone. Damn them ideas.

OK whatever, without any further blab, here's my newest story, written for an exchange over in the NFA community:

It's not Tony/Gibbs, but it does have Tony and Gibbs.
Current Location: Orlando
Current Mood: numbnumb
03 April 2016 @ 08:09 am

Joining up late, so I'll be starting with "C," which will be posted on Monday. What'll it be about? I have no idea. Character? Chemistry? Crime? Cats? Catatonia? Chemical weapons?

Could be anything.
13 January 2016 @ 09:14 pm
Tony is going buy-bye from NCIS, and it's got me going "blah." I came here to do a wrap-up post for the past couple months but..... BLAH.

I'm sick of thinking of how we're going to say goodbye to Tony DiNozzo. It makes me so sad. I never wanted to say goodbye. I know it's time, but.... I just... can't. I'm heartbroken.

*sigh* /firstworldproblems.

I'll come back with the long over-due wrap-up, but for now... I'm in a deep state of mourning.

(Goodbye sweet, lovable, goofy DiNozzo. We have a little less than a dozen episodes to say so... and I hope they make it as wonderful as you are!)
Current Location: Lake Retreat
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: No Distance Left to Run - BLUR
26 October 2015 @ 09:34 pm
I don't believe in you, but hear me out...

I'm just kidding.

Dear Santa,

Please don't feel stressed out by your assignment. Not saying that you are, but I'm just throwing it out there. Most of all, I want you to have fun writing whatever it is you're going to write. Please, just, NO STRESS. It's the holiday season. Take a load off and sit by the fire. There's enough stress to go around.

The prompts I gave you are incredible vague, so you should be free to do whatever. If "doing whatever" is leaving you idea-less, please read about what I particularly like. I know a lot of people aren't familiar with my own work, or even who the heck I am, so perhaps "what I like" isn't particularly clear.

- As stated in the sign-up, I adore both Gibbs/DiNozzo and DiNozzo/McGee. But I also adore Gen stories. I also don't mind het stuff, in particular: Tony/Ziva, McGee/Delilah, Tony/Zoe, Ziva/Monique. Oh, I guess that last one isn't het. I don't read fanfic solely based on pairings, so please... If you have a great story, write it. Don't worry about "pairings." If the love (or lack thereof) is organic, I'll appreciate it.

- I'm an angst-junkie. I admit. If there's a ton of hurt (whether it be physical and/or mental/emotional), I'm there! Just a note... That said, I also appreciate light-hearted moments and humor. But if total soul-crushing angst is on your agenda, I'm totally on board. Maybe somebody's relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be?

- Tony. I'm a Tony fan. I LOVE TONY. (I also love Ziva. And McGee. A lot.)

- Do whatever. If you kill a character, that's fine. If you torture them, that's also fine. If you marry them off and give them a kid, I'm also fine with that. Happy ending or sad ending. A good story is a good story. I have faith in you, Santa. Take me on a journey that'll be awesome reading for when I'm in an airport waiting on an early flight out of here.

- I don't like crossovers, only because I watch ... not a lot of shows. I'm also not a huge fan of fastastical stuff like vampires or werewolves or whatever. Keep it real and I'll be happy. AU is ok, though. Going "outside the lines" (aka canon) is fine.

- Palm trees. I live in Orlando. Extra bonus point challenge... include a palm tree. Or something. Or not. Your choice!

I don't know what else to say, Santa. Please just know I'm an easy-going person, and I'm eagerly awaiting whatever it is you come up with.

Thank you!
18 October 2015 @ 11:02 am
More than halfway through October now, but here's the September Summary.

Here's what's going on:

1. "The Great Cupcake Caper" [2344 words | General Audiences | Het]
It's Kate's birthday, and there's a crime afoot.
Genre: Humor, Mystery, Romance, Fluff
Characters: Kate, Gibbs, Tony, and others
Pairing: Kate/Gibbs

Special notes: I wrote this one for flootzavut for her birthday. She's a Gibbs/Kate fan, and she's a lovely writer as well. Check out her work.

Find it:
[ao3] http://archiveofourown.org/works/4751924
[ffn] https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11495600/1/The-Great-Cupcake-Caper

2. "Wherever the Blue Skies Go" [8427 words so far | Chapters 3 & 4 | Mature | Gen]
An undercover job implodes and DiNozzo is thrown into a violent surreality he may never escape.
Genre: Psychological drama, experimental fiction
Characters: DiNozzo, Team NCIS, original characters
WARNINGS: Graphic depictions of violence, rape/sexual assault

Special notes: Work in progress. Now on AO3!

Find it:
[ao3] http://archiveofourown.org/works/4741985/chapters/10838432
[ffn] https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11475590/1/Wherever-the-Blue-Skies-Go

Cover Art:
Current Location: Fish Camp
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Love in the Library | Jimmy Buffett